Failed dates, should not be seen as “failures”, more so experiences and life lessons. We become more aware of ourselves and of others, the more we interact and communicate with one another through dating or daily life for that matter.
Everyone has different expectations of dating, from how to approach one another, texting, calling, emailing, right up to deciding where is appropriate to go for a first date.
However, communication around the build up to meeting and even when you’ve met I believe is crucial and this is where some of us go wrong.
I am specifying the following as “guidelines” simply because there are no rules.
When you exchange numbers with someone that does not give you a ticket to text harassment! You don’t want to play games and leave it four days to text however the obligitory “Night babe”, “Morning lovely” messages need to go, what have you possibly done in that last 8 hours but sleep? It’s nice and all your probably thinking about is this exciting new person in your life but this is cringe it needs to stop!
Texting until your nearly on 7% and it’s only early afternoon would put you in Spanish Inquisition territory! Leave all the questions until you actually meet texting is actually very basic and has now been around for years, we all know how hard it is to read and perceive texts, it could put you off one another almost immediately. At least try having some fun and send voice recordings to one another, I now actually do this with most of my friends as my middle finger cannot go as quick as my mouth can, texting has become tedious to me.
Which leads me on nicely just to throw in that even though texting can be boring, let’s all remind ourselves we are actually texting someone and not leave it five or six weeks between texts and think that’s acceptable. I had interactions with a guy recently who did this and thought it was far from strange, it’s not really that hard is it to find a balance between Spanish Inquisition and sporadic?
Steer clear of asking about marriage and babies, some of us may run to the hills, save this for further down the line, don’t discuss this right away!
We need to learn enough about one another that makes us excited to meet, without overbearing message that can come across needy or smothering.
We all know when there’s something missing, don’t try and work for something that isn’t there. The connection is of upmost importance and without this, you have nothing.
Listen to your heart, you gut instinct if you like. The people we encounter, I believe are sent to us for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Take pieces of experiences and interactions you have, learn from them and move on with clear intention for next time.