If you’re in an unhappy relationship or marriage do you stay? Do you stay because of your kids? Do you stay because you cannot muster up the courage to leave? you don’t want to hurt him/her? what is your reason?
My reason was because I fell out of love so I left, I didn’t want to stay in an unhappy marriage. I said fuck it (like the book f**k it) and left because I was miserable. Marriage was not for me or I married the wrong man I’m still trying to work that one out!!
I never had much faith in marriage as I came from a broken family and this stuck with me from the age of 10 when I heard my dad say the words ” I no longer love your mum and I am leaving” At that moment I hated him for ruining our family, however years later when you grow up, gain a personality and have a better understanding of life, hate becomes a strong word and you realise people do things for good reasons. I don’t hate my dad and I never did, I just held him responsible for breaking up a happy home with clarity as to why.
I felt exactly the same as he did. trapped in a loveless marriage (on my side) wanting different things from life and for me an age gap of ten years that did prove to be a problem. We all have our reasons! I thought I had seen the world by 22 years old and was ready to settle with a strong Yorkshireman I loved and adored but I was wrong.
Falling out of love with someone happens (in some cases) as easy as it was to fall in love in the first place. Numerous things caused me to fall out of love but I did something about it!
Do you stay, put in the commitment, have marriage counselling, have kids and carry on? Or do you admit to yourself you are unhappy, not willing to work at it anymore because you plain and simply do not love him anymore!
I choose the latter, because for the first time in my life I thought and went with my heart and not my head! I have always been pragmatic and I told myself numerous times “you have only just got married, work at it” marriage is bloody hard work and its about trust, loyalty, compromise and communication amongst other things but that was not what my heart was telling me to do.
My heart told me to leave, live my life and find happiness. All we want is be happy right?
I strongly believe whether or not your 28 or 48, kids or no kids, you need to follow your heart!
Ask yourself are you happy?
Do you really want to be responsible for someone else’s happiness? putting up with their insecurities? Continue dealing with day-to-day arguments and confrontations? Treading eggshells? Receiving the wrath or your partners temper? Being controlled? Compromising your life? I think the answer would be no!!
Whatever it may be that is restricting you to live your life and be happy………In the good and true words of Major Lazer GET FREE! http://youtu.be/yNo2F645DGc
What have you got to lose? Ok so your questioning, who gets the house? who gets the dog? where would I live? Child support? what would my parents think? what would my friends think?
If these questions are going through your head you are simply being weak and putting up barriers to not leave! You are not been true to yourself! You are making excuses which are standing in the way of your happiness.
We only have one life, so make the most of every day. Don’t live in the past, don’t plan the future live for now and today, as tomorrow may never come.
Yes it may be hell in the process, as I soon discovered. I did not get to leave unscathed! Like me you may end up with no friends, no house, no dog and not a penny to your name but the day I left I knew I had made the right decision and started my new life from the moment I left with my clothes some cd’s, a cushion and some bedding. I was happy with that because I knew the pain I was causing both of us was finally over (well almost) unfortunately weather or not your marriage ends civil or a disaster you’re going to have to be strong to put up with the shit that follows. This is all temporary. Everything is in life. But you will get where you want to be……….eventually after crying a lot, possibly drinking and smoking the world, dipping in and out of depression through lack of food and going through months of seeing divorce papers flying through your letterbox.
As I said before, you will not leave unscathed, so be prepared for that, be strong, stick with your decision and never look back, move forward and progress as a person……………
But, I can categorically say the grass is greener……………..you just need to water it with love