The latest reports from the Office of National Statistics shows us 42% of Britons file for divorce. Like most life experiences, they can happen unexpectedly and we are not always mentally and emotionally prepared for what is to come. Some of us, like myself, have a relatively easy divorce, your decree absolute is through the door within a year and your only arguing over the white goods. However thousands of pounds later after numerous court visits battling children, houses and cars is somewhat exhausting and distressing.
No divorce is simple unless you’re Britney Spears and it’s annulled in seventy-two hours.
Every divorce is different, however it is what you choose to do afterwards that really matters.
After all the anger, hatred and bitterness has been laid to rest, you start the process of emergence into the next cycle of your life. It requires you to adjust your thinking about yourself and others and to shed a layer of your ego-filled defenses and to let go of anything that stops you being less than who you are. It’s time to explore. It’s time to meet people. It’s time to go out and finally start having some fun.
Start by brushing up on your social skills. If you have been married for a long time, interacting with new people and dating again may seem daunting at first. Joining social networking and online dating sites can be great first place to start. It gives you the opportunity to make new friends and to get dates. Seeing if you share similar views and interests with someone first gives you great grounds for a first date, you will feel more confident and have plenty to talk about.
Plan a few nights out with your friends and stick to them. It gives you something to look forward to and get excited about. At this stage you need all the help and support you can get so you need to stay active within your social circle.
Go get a haircut! You’re not trying to be someone you’re not here, yes, if your daring go for the chop, but a simple cut and even colour can make you feel more confident, polished and ready to go. You will automatically radiate when you feel good about yourself. Same goes for make-up. If your stuck in a rut with the same old blue eyeshadow or pink lipstick go to a make-up counter and ask for looks to suit you and tutorials on how to apply it. You’ve worked on your inner self, it’s time to work on your appearance. The same goes for your wardrobe. Buy a few key items that you can mix up for drinks after work with the girls and for that all important first day. First impressions really do count.
When you finally get your chance and you’re making your way to your first date, remember this……………….. keep conversations light and friendly. Do not discuss your previous partners, painful divorce, religion or politics. These are not subjects your date will be interested in hearing.
And last but not least do not sleep with your date on the first night, this is just as bad as falling in love after twenty minutes and trying to make it marriage number two!