Spectator:– a person who looks on or watches; onlooker; observer
Sextator;- a man who watches; looks at, too much porn
So men are probably thinking they can never watch too much porn. But they can when it starts to interfere with your relationship. I have read numerous self-help books which teach us that men and women think differently in regards to sex. When it comes to porn, getting mens perspectives, reading these books and experiencing things for myself, I now have more clarity as to why men watch porn and sometimes to excess and not with their partners.
Its voyeuristic, they need visuals. It is a form of escapism and instant gratification. He sleeps with you all the time, he doesn’t want to masturbate over you too. Men have different sexual drives to women, they like to have variety and there is so much out there to choose from online, we after all, can’t always be porn stars in the bedroom! His mind can wander and the stresses and sometimes uncertainties in life seem so far away when he hits his favourite predictable porn site that he can control.
When we masturbate we think of when we last had sex and other scenarios we make up in our heads, they need to see it happening it’s simple! They don’t care what she looks like most of the time, they can be envisaging us doing it to them (so don’t go dying your hair when you find he’s been looking at busty brunettes) he just wants to see all that variety right there on youporn.
You may think, ok, let’s make videos together…………..wrong you’re wasting your time, when you go to work, pop to the shops, pick the kids up, god forbid take a nap, he’s gonna load up incognito browsing and wank his little heart out to something else. Yeah we all remember that Windows 8 advert “when you’re trying to find that perfect gift for the one you love, go private browsing so she can’t see what you’re buying” come on, seriously? what a way to advertise stealth porn browsing!!!
It can divide our relationship. We either hate our partners watching it, or we join them. If we don’t, this is when it can become a major problem. Women feel cheated on. They watch it when we are pregnant etc we catch our partners and we automatically think what is wrong with us? The answer is nothing is! Would you rather him watch porn or be out cheating on you? It is only visual remember this!! You can never, ever stop a man from watching porn they are programmed differently to us, it is something we need to accept. And please don’t be naive when your partner tells you he isn’t “you’re all the porn he needs”………he’s lying. I’d say embrace it, it won’t change. You can never change a man so don’t start to try. I’d say jump on board and start watching some big cocks and put that smile right back on your face where it belongs!! It isn’t disgusting or degrading to women, we all have sex right??! (most of us just don’t record it for all to see)
However I would say this, if he spends more time watching porn than sleeping with you, this is when there could be a problem. Your insecurities have probably taken right over and your so hung up on him watching it, your sex has dwindled into the oblivion and he spends more time in the bathroom or in his office in front of his computer than he does with you.
I’m no councillor but if it has reached this stage you’re with a raging, greedy sex addict (who’s also probably cheating) and the best thing you can do is leave him with his subscription to Brazzers and take you’re vagina elsewhere.
Karen Talks 